Yearning to be Offended

Hello all...

I have come to a conclusion about modern humans.

They yearn to be offended.

Over and over again, in blogs and Facebook postings and newspaper opinion columns and everywhere else, people  engage in their little flaming rants about the things that they have read/seen/heard that have offended them somehow.

I bring this up because of something I ran across on Facebook.  It was a shared article of some sort and I don't even remember where it came from.

But it basically was a gripe about how President Obama refers to women as "wives" and "mothers" in his speeches.    The proponent of this gripe felt that President Obama's consistent referral to women in these terms was somehow problematic and offensive.

I sat there and read the article again.

I scratched my head.

Okay, I could see the point in a very foggy confused way.  Not all women are wives and not all women are mothers.  And perhaps a single career woman would feel booted out of being considered as speech worthy by the president.  Or perhaps, in a stretch, referring to women as "wives" and "mothers" could be seen as reducing women to certain roles.

Which one would think if they  genuinely thought that President Obama was of this opinion.  Which, regardless of whatever faults he may have, or people may think he has....is pretty much not the case.

However....many women are wives.  Many women are mothers.  Many women are both.

Many women in fact have wives.  And I would guess that most women out there have, or did have, a mother.   Unless they were actually dropped off on a doorstep by a stork, or perhaps found in a cabbage patch.  In which case I think an article needs to be written about THAT.

Which all boils down to my bottom line issue:  why must we get so bent out of shape?  Why get offended?  Language is an imprecise thing.  Unless the president  is willing to use a string of 10 adjectives to describe every single possible role women fill in our society, someone is going to be left out of a speech.

 I mean, I don't listen to his speeches and think "Darn it.  He completely left out Native American/Swedish Kidney Donor Kindergarten teaching Taco Bell Addicted TedxKyoto Volunteer women! Aaaagh!"

And why don't I think this?

Because IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT ME.

This is a point that demands repetition:  IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT ME.

And just because I do happen to be a wife and a mother, this still doesn't make it all about me.

I take the broad view.

If we look at those roles...not the WORDS, but the roles--the roles of being a PARTNER (wife) and a NURTURER (mother) ....these are not locked in as solely female roles.  Regardless of what the frothing gripers and determined archaic dividers of the world into "Man's role" and "Women's role" categories say.....Men and women both fill the role as a PARTNER, regardless if the relationship is straight or gay.  And both men and women fill the role as NURTURER, regardless of whether the family unit has a mom and a dad, two dads, two moms, one dad or one mom.  Or a grandparent.  Or uncle or aunt.  Or foster parents.  

But you know....I'm pretty sure that President Obama, and/or his speechwriters, weren't thinking all this.  I'm pretty sure the words of the speech were intended to describe a bigger picture for which so few words gracefully apply, so they used the words that were available.

Namely that we all fill roles that are hard to fill.  That we all have responsibilities that overwhelm us.  And that there are times when we'd give anything to get a little help now and then.

I could be wrong, however.

I mean, it's not all about me, after all.

Until next time.

Our Tiny Little Brains....

Hello all...

During last year's TEDxKyoto event  (when I wasn't running around like the proverbial headless chicken), I got the chance to meet and visit with most of the marvelous speakers and presenters who graced the TEDxKyoto stage.

Two of the presenters were Jeffrey Jousan and Ivan Kovac who teamed up to create two incredible short documentary films about the aftermath of March 2011's earthquake, tsunami and nuclear catastrophe.

Their first video, available  on Youtube, was "Then and Now".

Their newest video is "Women of Fukushima", which explores the problematic and heartbreaking experiences of the people of Fukushima from the point of view of six very determined and inspiring women.

Today Bob and I went to Ritsumeikan University where Jeffrey and Ivan were showing both of their documentaries and speaking as part of a panel discussion.

During the panel discussion, they were asked a variety of questions such as   "How can we make things right again?" and "What do people in your home countries think about Fukushima?"

Ivan picked up the microphone, pausing thoughtfully before raising it to his face.

And he spoke about how no one seems to remember  Fukushima.

The flurry of donations and TV news spots that flitted around the world  in the first year after 3/11 have faded away, month by month,  replaced by the latest short attention span spot of  political turmoil or celebrity brouhaha.

Because people forget.

Easily.

Quickly.

It could be argued that no one can remember everything.  That  the problems of the world are too numerous to consider simultaneously.

Once the vast piles of tsunami bashed vehicles were bulldozed into piles, and  once the earthquake ruined buildings were razed into flat, empty lots, perhaps the world thought that the healing had begun.

But as anyone who has lived through a disaster knows, the clean up isn't the hardest part.

The rebuilding is the hardest part.

The rebuilding is always the hardest part.

Why?

Because rebuilding takes time and patience and no small amount of money and support.
Rebuilding is slow and methodical and filled with two-steps-forward-one-step-back progress.

Rebuilding is messy and often unpleasant.

And people usually want to avoid the parts of life that are messy and unpleasant.

And they forget.

Sigh.

Until next time....