Hello all,
People ask Google so very many questions. But do any of these kind folks actually get the answers they need? NO! Well, I'm going to change all that. Here are the top 10 questions that popped up in the google window for today's topic, followed by my most excellent, logical and oh-so-helpful advice.......
Today's Google question: "Why are my toes...?"
1. Why are my toes numb?
Your toes are either in the freezer or you have an anvil sitting on them. Or both.
2. Why are my toes peeling?
Someone switched out your toes with bananas, and your pet monkey is hungry. Go find your real toes immediately or shoo away your monkey before something unfortunate happens.
3. Why are my toes curled?
While you were napping your toes were stealth-curled by a curling iron-wielding fashionista teenager. If you ask nicely and offer to buy said teenager some junk food, (s)he might loan you a straightener.
4. Why are my toes cramping up?
Your toes are working out too hard. Tell them to put down the free weights and do some stretches.
5. Why are my toes crooked?
Your insistence on wearing uncomfortable shoes has led your toes to lead a life of crime. Put on some big, fuzzy slippers and apologize nicely and they should be fine.
6. Why are my toes swollen?
Your toes are bulking up on carbs in preparation for a marathon.
7. Why are my toes itchy?
Must be those poison oak socks you're wearing....
8. Why are my toes red?
Because they aren't blue.
9. Why are my toes tingling?
You are standing on top of an electric fence. Jump off now.
10. Why are my toes cold?
Because they forgot to bring their jackets.
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