I Can't

I can't watch the video of
Alton Sterling
being shot by police.

I can't.

I can't join the masses who treat yet another needless death
like a reality show,
like an accident on the side of the road,
the firetrucks and ambulances somehow giving me somber permission
to stare as I pass uselessly by.

I can't hear the broken words
of Alton Sterling's wife,
the sobs of his son
and not see them as part of my own human family--
because they are mine and they are ours.

I can't pick sides
when the only sides to Alton Sterling's death
are power, privilege and fear.

Power, privilege and fear are roaring, speeding, screaming
at all of us
in infinite violent combinations
from all sides now.

From attacks on Muslims in Iraq, Bangladesh, Turkey and Saudi Arabia,
to a wild gunman in an Orlando nightclub.
From a child being accidentally shot by his parent on a gun range
to police shooting a  man selling CD's on the street.
I could go on,
and on,
and on.

Those of us who somehow think we've won the lottery
by virtue of having our power and privilege accidentally
laid upon our skin at birth...

we are fooling ourselves.

Power, privilege and fear
betray everyone in the end
and I can't believe
that my country, our world,
stands so idly by while the storm approaches
whispering "this kind of thing only happens to THEM."

Guess what?
We are all them.

So.

I can't watch the video of
Alton Sterling
being shot by police.

I can't.