Math

 Math

 

 

I woke up this New Year’s Eve morning and realized

I hadn’t seen my father’s’ face in 30 years.

 

I hadn’t heard my brother’s laugh in 28 years.

 

I hadn’t felt my mother’s arms around me in 6 years.

 

It seems I am now measuring time with a new mathematical formula.

 

Each day, week, month, year now demands to be calculated in

Losses

Misses

Silent voices

Phantom hugs and kisses.

 

This new math uses ephemeral numbers made up of

Memories

Regrets

And irreversible changes. 

 

I could get lost in these calculations, 

Subtracting and dividing out the rest of my life. 

 

But I won’t.

 

I have, after all, always been more of words than numbers-

more imagination than calculation.

 

Instead of counting my losses,

I will weave the stories of and within my life,

Letting my words breathe warmth

Into the cold, cold tallies of time.

 

12/31/2023