Today's Self-Discovery: I Only LOOK Like an Adult

Hello all,

This morning I was eating my over easy eggs and toast.  Without thinking, I poked one tine of my fork into the yolk of my egg and felt a sort of insane creative interest in the way the yellow meandered around my plate.

Then I realized that actual grown ups probably don't do this.  Kids do this.

And I thought "It's probably a really good thing that the world doesn't require us to take standardized tests to prove we are, indeed, grown ups.

With this alarming, sci-fi, 'Big Brotherish' thought in mind, I dug out some paper and began jotting down all the ways I'd probably fail said test.

I made the egg number 1.

1. Plays with over easy egg yolk.
2. Eats marshmallow surprises first out of "Lucky Charms"
3. Likes chocolate pudding.  Has been known to lick pudding cup.
4. Prefers to color with crayons whenever possible.
5. Enjoys playdough.  Even likes the smell.
6. Eats apple slices in a watermelon-esque style, then takes perverse pleasure in eating the "rind"
7. Eats Kraft Mac and Cheese.  Happily.
8. Reads comics first in a newspaper
9. Likes bugs.  Except for roaches.  ugh.
10. Oreos:  Takes apart cookie. Gnaws off creme center.  Dips each half in milk.
11. Still giggles when packages of hot dogs are labeled "weenies"
12. Appreciates a good couch cushion fort
13. Can't resist playing in streams and rivers when  encountered
14. Regularly puts stupid things on head
15. Prone to wearing stained shirts.
16. Frequently makes 'hand bubbles' with dish soap when dishes are done
17. Snarfs down Reeses Peanut Butter cups.  Eats zigzag edges first.  Works way to peanut butter center
18. Thinks tadpoles are amazing
19. Enjoys that goop in the bottom of the dish that gathers as an ice cream sundae melts
20. Fascinated by "Sing a ma jigs" singing toys.  Sorely tempted to start buying them all.
21. Needs a hard hat and elbow pads whenever wearing high heels.
22.  Prefers Sneakers.
23. With cartoon shoelaces.
24. Believes all bandaids should have cartoon faces printed on them.
25. Enjoys bubble gum way too much
26. Has been known to put a tiny roll of tape on bottom of cats foot just to giggle while it walks funny and shoots her dirty looks
27. Trips over own feet.  Frequently.
28. Chews ice.  Doesn't stop even when whole head is frozen
29. Enjoys marbles.
30. Absent mindedly folds any piece of paper into an elementary school fortune teller
31. Actually knows how to fold an elementary school fortune teller
32. Dunks peanut butter and jelly sandwich in milk.
33. Eats pieces of candy corn in layers.
34.  Puts candy corn on teeth as fangs.
35. When faced with Pringles potato chips,  feels compelling need to make a duck beak.
36. Has been known to sculpt mashed potatoes
37. Eats jelly or creme filled donuts by first sucking out filling
38. Secretly squirts whipped cream directly into mouth. (careful not to actually touch spout with lips.  Gross)
39. Has been known to peel Rubik's Cube stickers off and place in new spots due to utter inability to solve the thing honestly
40. When making campfire s'mores, must always set a few marshmallows on fire.
41. Enjoys Mr. Potato Head
42. Can still get caught up in building something with Legos
43. Still enjoys Sesame Street. Especially the one where Ernie tries to go to sleep by imagining "quiet" things to count, and then scares Bert out of his wits by exploding an imaginary balloon.  Heh heh.

I'm pretty sure that this list disqualifies me for the title "Adult".  Perhaps I can be a "Quasi-Adult" or "Exo-Adult"  wherein I look like an Adult on the outside, but am actually around 8 years old on the inside.

The good news is that these very things that probably make you wonder about my sanity are exactly the kinds of things that feed into my joy for teaching.  Because when I take off my grown up, curriculum planning, assessment making, organized disguise, I'm right in there with the kids, getting just as messy and excited as they are.

After all, I like bugs.

Until next time.

Google Auto Fill-The Status Quo Spigot

Hello all--

Wow! You not only witnessed my triumphant return to my blog, but I am actually doing two blogs in one week!

Astounding.

So several months ago I was bumbling around Youtube and discovered CGPGrey, who does these highly amusing mish mash descriptions of various topics like Coffee and Pennies. CGPGrey led me to Crash Course, which is an amusing/frantic/informative/teen-oriented series of history and science mini-lessons done by two brothers: John Green (the history guy) and Hank Green (the science guy).

Upon further delving I discovered that these two brothers--who live way far apart from each other in the U.S.-- have been doing a video blog together for the past three years.

And upon watching some of these hyper-frantic stream of consciousness vlogs (which are slowly inspiring me to want to do the same but I'm pretty sure I'm not nearly as frantic or entertaining as John and Hank), I discovered that John Green is an author of young adult novels. So I ordered his newest novel "The Fault in Our Stars" and plopped it into our kindle icloud reader (I adore Kindle. Ebooks are saving my sanity. Living in Japan no longer means reading the same 6 books 2000 times).

And I must say the book rocked. I read it twice.

At any rate, I was eating potatoes and eggs this morning and watching one of John and Hank's many video blogs wherein John plugged the question "Why does my" into the "Google Auto Fill" window and then tried to answer the questions that came up.

So I was inspired to fire up Google and try it for myself. Now, I am fully aware that Google just spits out the top searches. And I know that this means less than nothing in the real world.

Yet knowing this, I admit to being rather flummoxed upon typing in the line

"Teachers are"

wherein Google spat this list back out at me :

Teachers are overpaid

Teachers are stupid

Teachers are underpaid

Teachers are lazy

Teachers are heroes

Teachers are important

Teachers are babysitters

Aha. Seven descriptions of teachers. (there were three more nonsensical sentence fragments in this list, but I elected to omit those because, quite obviously teachers are not quotes. )

Two of them positive. Teachers are heroes and teachers are important.

One a statement of general fact: Teachers are underpaid.

Which leaves four negatives. The big four that periodically get fluttered into the faces of teachers, along with the accusations of short work hours and long carefree summers.

So I plugged in "Education is" and got this:

Education is freedom

Education is the key to success

Education is the great equalizer

Education is not the filling a pail

Education is the most powerful weapon

Education is important

Education is what remains

Education is a right

Allrighty then. Education is recognized by the Googling masses as a good thing.

I continued my quest:

"School is"

School is bad for children

School is boring

School is a waste of time

School is pointless

School is fun

School is for fools

School is cool

School is stupid

"Okay" I said to myself, "So the Googling masses seem to have the opinion that while education is an incredibly important, very desirable thing, teachers and schools...not so much.

How about Homeschooling?

"Homeschooling is"

Homeschooling is bad

Homeschooling is good

Homeschooling is wrong

Homeschooling is a bad idea

Homeschooling is better

Homeschooling is a joke

Homeschooling is child abuse

Homeschooling is stupid

Homeschooling is legal

I could have done this all day.

But I didn't. I stopped because (a) Google is in no way an accurate indicator of anything. It is the quintessential proof of the phrase "Garbage in, garbage out" and (b) I'm getting hungry and want to eat lunch after I finish this posting.

But I did have a thought.

And the thought is this.

While most folks see education as an important, vital, future-altering concept, when it comes down to the actual DOING of it, all the consensus falls away into insults, stereotypes and pouty disagreement. And while I'm using the "garbage in, garbage out" example of Google to illustrate this point, I have found that the real world more or less supports this as well.

And now, as I slide into my twenty first year of being a teacher (gasp), I find myself reflecting upon some personal teaching truths:

To teach, you've got to love the kids and be willing to dedicate as much time and out-of-pocket money as you've got to nurture each kid and light that fire of learning in each child's eyes. This means doing everything from keeping granola bars and juice boxes in a cupboard to feed a hungry child to clearing a store's shelves of marshmallows and toothpicks in order to create a scale model of the Golden Gate Bridge.

You have to think outside the box--and under the box, inside the box, over the box, around the box. Heck, sometimes you have to throw out the box completely and find another container.

You've got to see yourself not as the epitome of your field, but as another learner, just like your students, only a bit farther along on the continuum.

I've found that by sticking to these truths, no matter who I teach, no matter what subject, no matter the country or continent, I have something that no number of Googling minions can touch: my love for what I do, and my self-respect.

Until next time.

Spring: Boing, Boing, Boing

Hello all,

Spring is sneaking back into our lives here in Kyoto. It's a little like being able to stretch hugely after being crammed into a tiny car, or into a crowded train seat.

In our house, the first signs of Spring are the slow removal of the wrappings of Winter. We are peeling off the adhesive sponge tape that absorbed liters and liters of winter window condensation. We are unhooking and rolling up the "insulated curtains" (aka: glorified shower curtains that were supposed to insulate our windows). We've folded up the styrofoam sheets that blocked the coldest windows and peeled the bubble wrap from other windows.

We are even starting to leave doors between rooms open again (during the winter we kept rooms sealed as tightly as possible in order to maximize the efforts of our electric heaters).

As we slide into Spring, I'm starting to inch back into various types of teaching. On Monday nights I tutor a young businesswoman in English for 2 hours in a local coffee shop. On Tuesday mornings I tote myself to a nearby Austrian bakery and cafe to tutor several Japanese women who will be going to Europe in the Fall and who speak virtually no English.

And without a doubt, tiptoeing back into my former life as an English teacher is great fun. But what brings the biggest smile to my face is that starting this coming Wednesday, I'll be the After School Science Club teacher at Kyoto International School.

I've gotta admit, I've been missing the munchkins something fierce. So even an hour a week back with the kiddos is better than nothing.

Spring is one of the most beautiful times in Japan, and in Kyoto in particular. The quintessential sign of Spring in Japan is, of course, the cherry blossoms or "sakura", beneath which people flock to spread out their plastic tarps and have "ohanami" or flower viewing parties, which involve tasty food and plenty of liquid refreshment. Sakura are not taken lightly either. Newspapers, websites and TV news programs track the blooming of the Sakura as Spring moves through each island and city. Everything--from beer cans to mochi to the decorations hanging in department stores--is festooned with the iconic sprays of pink and white cherry blossoms.

As for me, I'm just glad to feel the sun on my face again.

Here's hoping that your Spring is filled with warm sun, new adventures and endless possibilities...

Until next time.